The ability to fart extremely loudly every time you blink - but only when having dinnerwith your girlfriends parents for the first time.

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The power to drink lethal poison without getting ill. But still dying from it.

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The power to enjoy a raw oyster and not gag.

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The power to pause time and control every person you touch while the time is paused

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The power to make sweet love to your mother just by caressing her between the legs for a while.

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The power to fly, but only inside an airplane.

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The ablity to hate everything.

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The power to eat soup with a fork.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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the power to know if a movie will suck after you bought the ticket

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the power to use telepathy with yourself.

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The ability to fly a millimeter off the ground.

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To have the abilities to almost be as powerful as God, but you're an existentialist.

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The Pickle Touch- That is, the power to pickle any object by merely touching it.

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the ability to kill yourself... twice

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The ability to arouse any woman over the internet but never meet them in person.

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The power to stretch your arms to any length but without the ability to revert them back to normal.

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The power to get a boner whenever you see a rainbow.

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The power to control disabled people with your mind.

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The power to teleport to the exact location there is a terrorist atack

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The power to give other people superpowers, but you can't give them to yourself.

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The ability for your penis to tie itself into a knot.

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The ability to make knifes out of your own feces.

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The power to make it inconveniently drizzle when crime is happening

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!