The ability to avoid work when connected to the internet. Thanks, by the way.

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The power to be so fast, that if you sprint forward you travel the whole world just in time to fuck yourself.

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to make asians smart

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The power to avoid metal detectors, but only when you have nothing metal on you.

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The power to fly for as long the average human is in the air during a vertical jump.

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The Power to make 0 dollar bills.

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the ability to an app cost 1 cent less (no free apps don't count

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The power to waste time coming up with pointless super powers

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The power to have your entire body totally frictionless. Except for your nipples. They have a drag coefficient of around 5 parachutes.

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The power to mentally unlock any lock you can see, but only if the key is within 10 feet of where you are.

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The power to glow in rooms with reddish purple walls

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The power to torture yourself and you are also immortal but will immediately die if you are not constantly tortured in a way that is 100000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 times worse then you can even imagine and are so terrified of dying that you would rather be tortured for all eternity.

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The power to play Call of Duty for free, if you've already bought the game not for free.

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The power to undress using your mind...but only when in the presense of a rapist

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The power to occasionally mistake your hand for a bear.

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The power to fart on a plane.

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The ability to make everything real, only in your dreams.

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The power to yawn with your mouth closed

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The power to have Pauly D haircut while being a dumbass.

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the power to eat gold and turn it into koosh balls

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The ability to perfectly walk backwards but only when you are sat down.

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The ability to travel back in time when and where there was a major plague- bringing only the clothes you are wearing.

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the power of super intelligence to go to college and actually expect a job these days.

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The power to make your feet stink at will.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!