Ability to suck **** like austin calhoun

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The ability to turn into a mermaid, only on Halloween.

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Spontaneous combustion... when on the internet

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The power to cure cancer pantients of minor rashes.

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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the ability to make real zero dollar bills

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The ability to never have to take a shit again

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The power to speak to mexicans in german

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The power to chew on chicken heads without breaking your teeth.

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the power to travel to parallel universes where the power to travel to parallel universes doesnt exist

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The power to vote for donald trump #FeelTheBern

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the power to poop out cactuses when no toilets are in a hour drive length away

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The power to change your mind

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the power to only eat sugar, but not things that tastes sweet.

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The power to write stupid and unintelligent messages that have no purpose or aim whatsoever.

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The ability to see into the past at variable times between 1 and 30 seconds but be incapable of seeing the present.

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The power to change skin color after being under the sun for too long.

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The ability to find any lost pennies, as long as you're Jewish

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Imortality.

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The power to smell your own feet without taking your shoes out.

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The power to shapeshift, but only when below ground.

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the power to waste time doing stupid stuff like reading this.

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The ability to fart inwards.

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The power to kick ass and chew bubblegum but be all out of kicks. "sits down chews bubblegum"

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!