the ability to fly under water unless your wet

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The power to cough, but only at funerals, and speeches

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The power to move objects by touching them.

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the power to tie your shoelaces with one hand

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The power to make any object the most comfortable object ever, but only when no one is touching it!

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The ability to talk like Robert DeNiro on helium

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The power to think with a 6 year time gap

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The power to turn into Justin beiber whenever you are about to have sex.

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The power to have a small penis

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The power to read people's mind but can only read their minds when they are thinking about sex.

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The power to fly, but only downwards

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne

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The power to generate fecal matter when being held at gunpoint.

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The power to instantly determine when someone is a dumbass.

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The ability to change languages after every word, but you can't not do so.

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The power to never sleep and instead go outside and think about your life.

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the power to remember th...

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The ability to be a jewish, homosexual, black crossdresser in Louisiana.

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The power to not get sun burnt when the sun's out

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The power to drive better when you're drunk yet run into furniture once you get home.

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The power to fly, but only while your feet are touching the ground.

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The power to make apples into pennies one per day.

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Retractable Teeth

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The ability to pause time. However, this pauses everything. Even you. You are screwed.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!