The power to mentally control tapeworms.


The power to be invulnerable while sleeping

The power to teleport yourself through cellular signals but only on nights and weekends.

Retractable Teeth

The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a chi...ldren's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

X-ray vision that only works on old mens clothes.

the ability to turn coke into pepsi

to be able to eat candybars and spit out diabetes

The power to produce fish eggs from your left eye

The power of laughing in awkward situations.


The power to turn pens into pencils, but not pencils into pens.

The power to temporarily become mentally retarded.

The power to look at Chuck Norris. I dare you to try.

The power to smell the inside of your nose.

The power to extend the length of commercial when your going to the bathroom

The power to transform into yourself

The power to read the Terms of Service but be unable to check the box saying that you have done so.

The power to make grass grow at double the speed.

The power to lick your own elbow...

be able to levitate over the seats of public toilets (no more nastieness)

The ability to sneeze flames.

Power to freeze your self in time but everyone else can move, but you cant

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!