the power to get married

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to fly for 2 seconds when jumping

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to clone yourself, except all your clones become Catholic priests. Moral: "Mommy! It was HE who touched me!"

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to break bones at will.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The ability to control the universe everytime you lick your own elbow!

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to play a snippet of Darude-Sandstorm whenever you inhale or exhale.

thumb_up thumb_down +96

The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The power to fly only one inch off the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +94

The ability to lift things up and put them down.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The power to eat three times a day.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The power to hear people's thoughts when you fap

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The power of having a bulletproof appendix.

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The ability to be smart, but only if you study for the first 18 years of your life

thumb_up thumb_down +92

The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The power to eat the booty like a poor person's groceries

thumb_up thumb_down +90

The ability to walk backwards... backwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

the power to be physically attracted to the same sex

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The ability to melt ice slower than it would usually melt

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The power to be invisible, but only when no one's looking.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The ability to have superman's powers and weaknesses, but have an 100% chance to have a suit made of indestructible kryptonite.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

anything Aquaman does

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The ability to fly 1/2 mm above ground, and only on dry land... no water walking

thumb_up thumb_down +88

the ability to cough musli in hot girls faces

thumb_up thumb_down +88

The power to get arrested

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!