The power to knock yourself unconscious

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The power to break bones at will.

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Vanilla scented blood

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The power to survive underwater, while holding your breath.

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The power to move at the speed of ripeness. Moral: Ripeness is actually slightly slower than time, true fact.

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The power to shrink boobs by merely touching them.

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The power to know when to hold them, but not know when to fold them.

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The power to obey gravity

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The power to find the end of the sticky tape

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The power to find anything on google. EXCEPT PORN.

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the power to travel 1-day into the future by waiting 24 hours

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The power to speak using their mouth

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The ability to have superman's powers and weaknesses, but have an 100% chance to have a suit made of indestructible kryptonite.

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The power to be powerless

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The ability to turn into a tree in the amazon rain forest everytime you burn your pinky finger.

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The power to make jokes about death while performing dangerous surgery or defusing a bomb

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the power to sneeze whenever you want

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The power to think of your death and then you die.

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The power to die whenever you feel the slightest bit joyful, happy excited, etc.

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the power to stop masturbating every day

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the power to inhale and exhale air

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The power to save all that time your new fast boil kettle has saved you

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The power to ignore useful information

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the power to get a massive headache whenever you look at toast

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!