- Pointless Super Powers

The power to kill yourself.

The power to cum cucumbers if you are a man.

To be immortal, but injuries do not heal and the pain is 100 times more intense

You might not GET super power, but you can get some super bonus. Get free rides with Lyft, (only new passengers). Use Lyft official code "IAMLUCKY" to get $50 up to $200 in ride credits. Now thats like a little superpower, you get to teleport from one place to other for free with Lyft. Get some super bonus until you really ever get a super power ;-)

The power to buy the newest iPhone without the charger...

the power to kill yourself

The power to know when a painting is crooked but it only works if the painting is noticeably crooked.

to zap people but only yourself

The power to die

The power to instantly make an accurate assessment on tomorrow's hangover probability well before you've consumed far more than the amount of alcohol which would guarantee it...and yet manage to forget sometimes you have this superpower.

THE POWER OF PEDOBEAR!!!!! but only when theres law enforcement around

The ability to hear fish.

The power to fly if you are eating.

the power to die 10 minutes after reading this comment

have the power of making chicken appear when your a vegan

The ability to transform yourself in to a vibrator that is about to be used. Only works if you are gay.

the powers to be a fat gassy woman

The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

The ability to look directly at the sun without damaging your eyes.

The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

To be able to levitate one object in front of you for one second a day

Being able to transform into anything on and off the planet, only, you have to be touching that object.

The ability to stop farting so that you blow up like a balloon that eventually bursts.

Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!