The ability to day nearly motionless while binge watching internet videos

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The power.

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the power to know when a politician is lying

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The power to pick any lock as long as its open

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The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

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The ability to just 1 meter high, but whenever you do so you lose a meter from your height, only to regain it when you hit the ground.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the ability to have unimaginably wild sex with chuck norris only if your a man

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the power to nit propely

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The power to eat toilet paper and crap self-wiping poop. Think about it...

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the power to fart every time you blink

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The power to compare anything to pr0n because "you know it when you see it."

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The power to feel pain while under anesthetics.

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The power to save 16% or more on your auto insurance

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the ability to stop time on your watch, wall clocks, and everything that runs on battery.

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A book on how to solve a paradix

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The power to describe the taste of water.

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the power to become slightly sticky

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The power to always get caught by the scooby doo gang

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The power to...lick you're nose

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The ability to unknowingly make people to read this sentence.

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the power to ejaculate 69% of what you normally do

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to be able to see through doors... only when there open

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The power to become black!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!