penis

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the power of being cut off mid senta

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the power to write on cellophane

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The power to become sick only to spread it to your enemy but you can't stop being sick until you have treatment.

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The power to die using only your mind.

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The power to inflict Cellulite at touch.

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The power to uncontrollably say a pun every sentence during funerals

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The power to make me a sandwich without first being instructed.

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The power to laugh at Tyler Perry's House of Payne.

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The power to fuck everyone.

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The power to yell WOW THOSE ARE SOME GIANT MELONS LADY! And have her blush and giggle, as your girlfriend grabs you and kisses you, just to make sure to "balloon lady" that you are not on the free market. Moral: And you think I act unusual here... Hah! That is simply because you lack the ability to love... the most important person in your life, the one that will take care of your beloved ones, the one that will inspire his friends... Yourself... sadly we are in a time period where being a modest emo is in... Well, I am out! Out there, being free!

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The power to see five seconds into the future.

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The power to enjoy a raw oyster and not gag.

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a power to levitate something, but only if your 2 inches away

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The power to vomit every time you look at a cat.

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The power to cum every time you show your private parts.

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The power to see John Cena.

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the power to be a master carpenter, make anything, except love.

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the power to have the remote come to you.

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The power to automatically register soda caps online, but only if it's Diet.

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the ability to lie and never be believed

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The power to punch anyone as hard as you want but get hit with the same force in your genitals

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The power to eat socks

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The ability to see through mirrors.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!