power to breathe

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The power to aquire pointless superpowers

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The ability to kill oxygen in a radius around you

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The ability to become invisible when noone is looking at you.

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The superpower to poo at will.

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the ability to make trees grow when you orgasm.

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The power of eating from ears.

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The ability yo smell your own breath, but only when you have a stuffy nose.

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The ability to fly a millimeter off the ground.

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The power to jerk off without using your hands

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the power to eat with your butt

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The power of your girlfriend's will

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The ability to create a chicken egg, once and then never again.

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The power to walk on your butt cheeks

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The power to fart out of your hands.

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The ability to tell when someone last used the bathroom by licking their thumb.

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A follow up to the next comment bellow... (the irony) is that you also get the powers to type YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! And other quotes at random points... I got these powers... you do not believe me? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH! Moral: GUANTANAMO BAY CUBA! Just making conversation... (throws random small dog in the trash container) last part was just me its not like you get the power to do what he does in movies :P

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The power to not be affected by bullets unless you are shot with one by a gun

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The power to turn into Justin beiber whenever you are about to have sex.

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The power to never finish your sentences because

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The ability to give yourself brain cancer at will

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The power to change colors to the excact same as before.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!