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The power to go back in time but never go forward
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+70
The power to spend your money on yourself, when you gotta do something useful with it, like giving it to me. Moral: GIVE ME THY TRESUUUR!
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+97
The power to shoot a gun with less bullets.
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+126
The power to metabolize any radioactive material in your body into arsenic.
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+81
The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.
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+27
the ability to enjoy school
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+53
The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century
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-12
The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.
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+66
The power to fly 4 inches from the ground
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-40
The power to rite liek dis
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-48
The power to Grow a baby in a woman.... for 9 months.
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+107
The power to shrink your penis every time you are aroused.
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+504
The power to get to the end of Temple Run
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+89
The ability to summon Cthulhu automatically when you reach the age of 23.5.
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+20
The power to believe in yourself, when you can believe in me. Moral: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU!
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+66
The ability to get a headache when you do or say something stupid.
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+181
The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.
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+60
the power to fly while under water
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+123
the power to have a larger erection, but only when your alone.
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+127
The power to be HUMAN
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+47
The power to be interrupted in mid sent- "Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!"
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+112
The power to recite all digits of pi, but you can’t stop and you die when you’re done
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+135
the ability to turn everything you touch into either a WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN or a piece of CRUDELY PAINTED NOT-SO-FUNNY PLYWOOD CUT-OUT FOLK ART!
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+1,283
The power to teleport yourself through cellular signals but only on nights and weekends.
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+441
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Pointless Super Powers
A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!