The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

thumb_up thumb_down +56

Night vision that only works during the day

thumb_up thumb_down +119

the ability to fly through the sky using the skin from your ballsack to glide to the ground

thumb_up thumb_down +11

the power to eat when your hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +135

The power to be MAGNETO! And have the power to WELCOME TO DIE! You dare not WELCOME TO DIE? AHAHAH! X-CHICKEN!

thumb_up thumb_down +118

The power to cum everytime you see a women

thumb_up thumb_down +190

The ability to explode upon contact with glass.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

the power to melt your bones

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power to date women if they say 'Yes' when you ask if they want to date.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

THE POWER TO POTENTIALLY HAVE A USELESS POWER ONLY WHILE READING USELESS WEBSITES ON MONDAY WHILE IT IS RAINING ON FIRE

thumb_up thumb_down +172

The power to shape shift, but only into yourself two inches taller.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

The power to extend your pinky toe

thumb_up thumb_down +98

The power to become a laptop forever!

thumb_up thumb_down +114

the power of being yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to run on water when there is no water

thumb_up thumb_down +68

Be invincible...but only when you're NOT in danger.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

the power to play a flute to summon a black leprechaun but only when your on the verge of passing out

thumb_up thumb_down +106

The power to withstand anything that would kill a normal man, but die afterwards.

thumb_up thumb_down +137

The power to smell like body odor at will

thumb_up thumb_down +99

The ability to know when, and which elevator door will open first.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

The power to speak any language except the language of your people.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

the power to yell a math problem at will

thumb_up thumb_down +135

The power to communicate with sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +93

the power to be nonflammable unless your on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!