The power to go back in time but never go forward

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The power to spend your money on yourself, when you gotta do something useful with it, like giving it to me. Moral: GIVE ME THY TRESUUUR!

thumb_up thumb_down +97

The power to shoot a gun with less bullets.

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The power to metabolize any radioactive material in your body into arsenic.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

The power to fly at the speed of sound, but only at ground level with your eyes closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

the ability to enjoy school

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The power to have super speed for 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 milliseconds a century

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The power to run at the speed of light, but are paralyzed from the neck down.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The power to fly 4 inches from the ground

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The power to rite liek dis

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The power to Grow a baby in a woman.... for 9 months.

thumb_up thumb_down +107

The power to shrink your penis every time you are aroused.

thumb_up thumb_down +504

The power to get to the end of Temple Run

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The ability to summon Cthulhu automatically when you reach the age of 23.5.

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The power to believe in yourself, when you can believe in me. Moral: BECAUSE I BELIEVE IN YOU!

thumb_up thumb_down +66

The ability to get a headache when you do or say something stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +181

The power of drawing perfects dog dicks, but not dogs at all.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

the power to fly while under water

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the power to have a larger erection, but only when your alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

The power to be HUMAN

thumb_up thumb_down +47

The power to be interrupted in mid sent- "Shut up! I'm trying to sleep!"

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The power to recite all digits of pi, but you can’t stop and you die when you’re done

thumb_up thumb_down +135

the ability to turn everything you touch into either a WACKY WAVING INFLATABLE ARM FLAILING TUBE MAN or a piece of CRUDELY PAINTED NOT-SO-FUNNY PLYWOOD CUT-OUT FOLK ART!

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The power to teleport yourself through cellular signals but only on nights and weekends.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!