the power of being republican

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the ability to clean cuz women are supposed to do it for us

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the power to make body fat go away

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The power to type any password only if some one tells you the password first.

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the power to become semi-transparent

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The power to waste time thinking of and uploading pointless superpowers

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the power to fly if you are touching the ground

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The power to have a perfect wipe every time you take a poop.

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The power to become pregnant without the man climaxing (you still have to have sex).

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The ability to excrete Hydrochloric acid, but only in your stomach.

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The power to make food from anything, but noone can eat it.

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Your mom is so ugly, she was mercilessly bullied through high school and had severe depression and self-esteem issues. The power to post anti-jokes only on pointless superpowers.

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The power to control weather on Mars

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The power to make people extremely happy as soon as you die.

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The ability to have every pointless superpower then, now, and in the future.

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The power to be mario for 10 seconds then you vomit shit for 17 hours. this happens every week.

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the power to be the idiot who is reading this website instead being a person because they lost their souls after there ex dumped them and they turned into horny trans-gender whores

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The power to have an internal monologue voiced by Morgan Freeman.

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Smoke vision

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The power to take control of mentally disabled turtles.

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the power to convert farts into burps.

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The power to science.

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The power to start gasping for air seconds after touching a keyb... then to die from hyperventilation seconds after using your mou...

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The power to stand in line at the DMV with a smile on your face.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!