The ability to part hair.

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The power to talk to animals and plants, but only to have really boring conversations with them.

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The power to LEROOOOY JEEEEENKINS

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The power to give yourself any disease, but not the power to cure it.

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power to permanently shrink one eye.

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The power to see events happen 0.04 seconds AFTER they occur

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the power to be incredibly charming and witty but only around old people and little children.

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The power to read people's mind but can only read their minds when they are thinking about sex.

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The power to sleep through a dream.

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The power to issue commands to domesticated house cats. Not the power to make them obey your commands, just the power to issue the commands.

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The power to see any woman naked, but only if she's wearing to clothes...

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The power to move microscopic specks of dust, but only one at a time, and only a few times a year.

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The power to have super human strength but only when sleep walking.

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The power to move 1 minute forward in time every 60 seconds.

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The power to do flaming flying kicks by yelling CAPTAIN FEET!

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the power to never have to fill out captchas

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The ability to troll a website like this. Basically, you do this. QWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNM.

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the power to youtube poop

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The power to turn all people into giant robots which you don't control

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The power... to move you.

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The power to shit in your eye

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The power to grow bigger, but never smaller.

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the power of mind controlling...yourself

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The power to turn into a dogbed when somebody says micro-tacos

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!