The power to wiggle your big toe whenever you have a car accident with a baby gorilla on the passenger seat every other Thursday of every other leap year.

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The power to lick your own balls!!!

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The power to lower the temperature in the room but only if you're cold

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The power to type useless powers that no one's ever gonna read.

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The power to be caught sniffing your sisters panties and get punished by having her crotch forced up and down yours while your mother licks your balls.

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The power to teleport to anywhere in the known universe, but not be able to teleport back

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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The power to shrink your private parts.

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The power to live until you die.

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To have the power to give yourself a disease

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The power to read your own mind

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The power to make the tip of your penis invisible at will.

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A man with the power to make sandwiches.

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The power to click the left button of your mause, only by thinking of how you click it,while your finger is on the button.

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The power to stop global warming on the planet Neptune.

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The power to let someone control your dick

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The ability to pause time. However, this pauses everything. Even you. You are screwed.

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the power to eat air when you could do something creative.

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Inspector 51 - able to identity, within a radius of 20 yards, people whose house or flat number is 51

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The power to climb trees really fast, but they shrink when you do.

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The power to make anything smell like beets by touching it and saying "Sideburn!"

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The power to change to a wombat when you have an erection while you're sleeping.

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The ability to know all the cheats/hacks for Half-Life 3.

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The power to throw fire out of your hands but at the same time burn your hands.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!