The power to poop and pee at the same time

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The power to wake up to surprise sex in the morning... in prision.

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The power to give super powers to others, but only to people you don't like.

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The power to write comments about orgasms in this site.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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The superpower to poo at will.

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The power to smell farts nearby

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The power to hear other people's thoughts when they aren't thinking.

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The power of laser pointer vision.

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The power to teleport but only on the surface of the sun.

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The power to create wifi but only on the third Sunday of May every million decades

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The power to swallow instead of spit

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The power to fly but only when you are in a winged aircraft.

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the power to do two suicide bombings

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the ability to teleport to th place you were 5 seconds ago, unless you've just been to a bank vault and just knocked out teh security gaurd.

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The power to cook bad meals.

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The power to bet on the fastest horse in the track at a formula 1 competition. Moral: RUN FORREST RUUUUUUN!

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The power to enter into a Coalition with the Conservative Party

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The power to blink one second faster then usual.

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The power to achieve orgasm within 3 seconds

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The power to shrink boobs. -Big C

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The power to get a boner any time you want

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The power to read the minds of rocks

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The power to die from darting too hard

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!