The power to make anyone even on live tv such as news or sports to explosively crap their pants.

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Being able to create duplicates of yourself, however you must give birth to these duplicates out of your anus (incredibly painful and its highly likely that you will pass out from the pain). And to disappear they must claw their way back up.

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The power to make every female cop want you... IN JAIL.

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The power to shoot webs, but only out of your ass

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the power to make toast into bread

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The power that whatever song is playing is your favorite song

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The power to summon a bucket of lukewarm water every 12 days.

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The power to convert Dr. Pepper into Mr. Pibb.

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The ability to read Captch codes perfectly but not being able to type them correctly

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the power the convince people if they agree

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The ability to ruin ipods by simply listening to a song

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The power to control sloths

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To turn into a guy that is tiny but can't do anything but speak.

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The ability to count to potato

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The ability to turn traffic lights red in your lane and green for everyone else

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the power to hate nature

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The power to whant badly to have kids but you give birth to massive amounts of spiders, ducklings and some undefined type of small feline instead of childen

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The power to shovel well. To shovel very well.

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The power of fork-throwing. This includes large pie servers, spoons, and basically any other utensils that are not knives.

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The power to be an ugly barnacle who is so ugly that everyone dies.

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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the power to kill yourself

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the ability to increase your weight without the ability to decrease your weight it.

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The power to read and immediately understand any vanity license plate from Arizona.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!