the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

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The ability to make cringe worthy YouTube videos

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The power of having useless wings grow on your testicles

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the power to hurl apples at force but only when you have drunk 20 litres of water in one go

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The power to not care.

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The power to fart glitter at birthday parties.

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The power to actually ENJOY Dora the Explorer.

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The ability to hold your breath forever, but only in an oxygen-rich environment.

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the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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The ability to travel back in time when and where there was a major plague- bringing only the clothes you are wearing.

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The ability to discharge a battery - JW

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the power to turn into a tree

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The power to fly but only in an airplane.

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The power to explode or fly at mach 10, but those powers can activate involuntarily, without warning

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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The power to be invisible but when no one is looking

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the power to the power to sit on your computer all day and read all of these pointless super powers while eating or drinking soda

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The power to become square shaped each time you are on fire. Moral: Try rolling on the ground now bitch...

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The power to make lipstick fly

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The power to run Crysis.

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The power to die

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The power to change any text in sight from US to British spelling.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!