the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

The ability to make cringe worthy YouTube videos

The power of having useless wings grow on your testicles

the power to hurl apples at force but only when you have drunk 20 litres of water in one go

The power to not care.

The power to fart glitter at birthday parties.

The power to actually ENJOY Dora the Explorer.

The ability to hold your breath forever, but only in an oxygen-rich environment.

the ability to give a potato an orgasm

The ability to travel back in time when and where there was a major plague- bringing only the clothes you are wearing.

The ability to discharge a battery - JW

the power to turn into a tree

The power to fly but only in an airplane.

The power to explode or fly at mach 10, but those powers can activate involuntarily, without warning

the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

The power to be invisible but when no one is looking

the power to the power to sit on your computer all day and read all of these pointless super powers while eating or drinking soda

The power to become square shaped each time you are on fire. Moral: Try rolling on the ground now bitch...

The power to make lipstick fly

The power to run Crysis.

The power to die

The power to change any text in sight from US to British spelling.

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!