The power to hear a dog whistle

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The power to become a fish for 10 hours on dry land

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THE POWER TO SHOW HOW SERIOUS YOU ARE VIA CAPITALIZATION

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The power to exhale clouds.

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The power to piss out of your ass and shit through your dick

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The ability to eat whole chickens at will, but only when yr not hungry.

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the ability to sing like t-pain without the autotune

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The power to eat just 1 Lays potato chip

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The power to be invisable but for only 5 seconds or the power to fly but only 2 feet off the ground.

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power to kill dead ppl.

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the power to get struck by lightning at will.

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power to make acid rain only when your are locked outside your house

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The power to have backround music in your life.

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The power to go super sonic speed as long as you are tripping

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The power to jump 1 centimeter higher than you usually can

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The power to speak in cursive

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The ability to day nearly motionless while binge watching internet videos

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The power.

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the power to know when a politician is lying

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The power to pick any lock as long as its open

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The power to have a godlike super human strength but it only activates during a REM sleep cycle.

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The ability to just 1 meter high, but whenever you do so you lose a meter from your height, only to regain it when you hit the ground.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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the ability to have unimaginably wild sex with chuck norris only if your a man

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!