The power to rotten food.

thee power to not eat but still starve

The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

The power to read and agree to the terms of service.

The power to turn invisible when crossing the road.

The power to jerk off with no hands.

the power the to use hands when you already have hands

the power to turn into a fish that is less then one mm small while only on land

The power to go part way through walls

The power to deconstruct molecules, but only when they're part of an object with a volume of 1 cubic millimeter.

The power to walk on your eyeballs, but only on sharp objects.

The power to turn allergic to anything, but you have to eat it after.

The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

The power to melt ice cubes with your bare hands.

To be bulletproof unless you get shot by a gun

The power to shit without squinting.

The ability to hover slightly above the ground on Wednesdays.

The ability to excrete Hydrochloric acid, but only in your stomach.

The power to get massive boners when you are reading a presentation.

the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

The power to grow increasingly warm fur as your body temperature rises.

ability to swim superhuman fast, but only if you're completely naked and dry

The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!