The power to rotten food.

thumb_up thumb_down +104

thee power to not eat but still starve

thumb_up thumb_down -5

The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

The power to read and agree to the terms of service.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

The power to turn invisible when crossing the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +97

The power to jerk off with no hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

the power the to use hands when you already have hands

thumb_up thumb_down +126

the power to turn into a fish that is less then one mm small while only on land

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to go part way through walls

thumb_up thumb_down +41

The power to deconstruct molecules, but only when they're part of an object with a volume of 1 cubic millimeter.

thumb_up thumb_down +89

The power to walk on your eyeballs, but only on sharp objects.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

The power to turn allergic to anything, but you have to eat it after.

thumb_up thumb_down +124

The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down +69

The power to melt ice cubes with your bare hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +83

To be bulletproof unless you get shot by a gun

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The power to shit without squinting.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

The ability to hover slightly above the ground on Wednesdays.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

The ability to excrete Hydrochloric acid, but only in your stomach.

thumb_up thumb_down +103

The power to get massive boners when you are reading a presentation.

thumb_up thumb_down +171

the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

thumb_up thumb_down +82

The power to grow increasingly warm fur as your body temperature rises.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

ability to swim superhuman fast, but only if you're completely naked and dry

thumb_up thumb_down +85

The ability to fly but, if you use it, birds start flocking around you and shitting on you.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

The power to talk to animals but only as they are attacking you

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!