To survive listening to James Blunt

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The ability to look at the sun and not go blind. Because your already blind in the first place.

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The power to turn a boomerang into a doggy toy

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the ability to only crap while on a toilet

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The power to have out bursts of funny inapropite jokes when ever u want............only while at a funeral

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The ability to breath fire through your mouth but only when your mouth is closed.

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The power to laugh in the face of danger except for that time you walked face first into a glass door.

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The power to absorb alcohol twice as fast

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The power to walk on your ASS Dude that's what I call ASS millage

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The power to reverse crab walk at extremely high speeds

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The power to love me. Moral: I have enough of my own. HE TORTURES YOU BECAUSE HE NEEDS YOUR LOVE, I DONT TOUCH YOU BECAUSE I REQUIRE NOT YOUR LOVE, WHO IS YOUR GOD NOW! (still not me, Gods and super sayans are foolish)

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The power to always lie even when you don't want to and then you have to truthfully say that you were lying otherwise the closest person kicks you in the groins.

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the power to make a contraceptive spell by waving your hand over your belly

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The power to moonwalk backwards

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Asexual reproduction.

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The power to ask sarah jessica parker, "why the long face?"

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The power to do a hand stand with your feet

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The powers to blink at the speed of light

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The ability to sling web like Spiderman except you can only shoot webs from your butt hole.

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the power to create your own real working money but you cannot spend it

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Change the outcome of Disney movies 3 years before they come out.

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The power to have all of Aquaman's powers, but not be able to swim.

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The power to never stop shitting.

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The power to change your position whenever you want. (I don't mean teleport I mean you can lay down while sitting or stand up while laying down)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!