The power to believe I type actual morals. Moral: At horsehead network? Now please go look for prostitutes at a church or astronauts under the sea you fucklng ass and blahblah!

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The power to see five times as clearly and up close, only when looking at insects and arachnids.

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The power to turn your external hearing off, only to replace it with the sound of very, very slow internal dubstep.

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The power to iron your clothes with your mind before putting it in the washing machine

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The amazing ability to shart at your own will.

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The power to read the minds of the mentally disabled.

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The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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The power to heal yourself once every hundred years.

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The ability to control water but only when it is raining

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The power to become invisible to anyone not looking at you or at your general direction.

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The power to enlarge your penis but only when you use a penis pump.

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The power to break out of jail when you're not in jail.

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a healing factor that can heal paper cuts in 2hours

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The power to think.

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The power to when you get scared, you fart.

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the power to read and agree to the terms or service

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The power to summon a green Hippo that would mush up your poop in your toilet. Oddly, the superpower is only able to be summonded one a year, sorry.

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The power to taste the colors of M&M's.

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The power to see forever

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The power to see what's behind you.

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The power to bleed

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To sumon a cheeto named bill every time you say cow.

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The power to sing but your mute

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To point out that the superpower below was the power to type partially invisible sentences. Moral: I did not realize that most of you would find that too hard to understand, but thumb me up if you did... And thumb me up if you did not... (watches comment disappear in the minus 10000 comments section) Damn flashes of the future... Heck! Just thumb it up if you like it because you liked it... and leave it be if you do not... or else I will use my most evil superpower in the world: Ignorance... aka I will ignore it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!