The power to stop people from walking through closed doors.

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The power to give yourself the most intense orgasm of all time at will, but it only lasts for a millisecond.

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The power to have car insurance, but only when you don't have a car.

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The power to manipulate time and space to urinate straight into your bladder, but only if you are extremely dehydrated.

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the power to fall asleep whenever you want, but only in bathtubs

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The power to ejaculate 100 times a day without sperm coming out and having to jack off :)

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The power to come up with fantastic comebacks, at the person's funeral.

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The ability to erase your own memory of your ability.

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the power to shit shards of glass

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The ability to instantle tangle your hair.

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The power to commit genocide, but only on things you love.

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The power to peak braille

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Spontaneous combustion... when on the internet

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The power to vote for donald trump #FeelTheBern

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The power to turn aluminum foil into tin foil.

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the power to masturbate just one time a day

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The power to increase the loudness of a crying baby.

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The power to poop and pee at the same time

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The power to shoot spiderwebs but only out of your fully erect dick

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The power to masturbate only when someone is watching.

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Power to give birth through your penis.

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The superpower to sleep in stinky in a fite

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The power to hide your identity from anyone... who doesn't know who you are.

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The power to shut me the F UCK UP! Moral: Ironically I have not said a single word for hours... so that would be impossible... Now, if you hear MY voice when you read this, then you are either psychic or psychotic, which is not that different if you ask me... Now.. if you hear YOUR voice inside your head, then YOU SHUT THE FRUCK UP AND GET LOST! :D :D :D :D :D :D (A MoralMan Original, now this one was pretty cool)

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!