The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The power to control which nut your sperm comes from.

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the ablity to have giant erections but only at story time

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the power to make your penis any size you want, only when your wearing sweatpants...

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the power to be a shitstick on a stick with a shitstick on a shit with a shitstick

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The power to hear a person's thoughts, but only when they're on the toilet.

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The ability to hear a tree falling in the woods when there is nobody there to hear it.

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The power to remember memories that you have forgotten, but only for 82 milliseconds, and then you forget them again.

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the power to die if you think

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The power to believe that the only way is essex.

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The power to poop kittens with mittens

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The ability to have glow stick bones (glow when broken)

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the power to make enemies blind only when their in a dark alley

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The ability to actually KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!

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The ability to walk over ball pits.

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The power to turn pens into pencils, but not pencils into pens.

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The power to become invisible when no one is looking.

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The power to be immune to every third bullet.

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The power to cure cancer pantients of minor rashes.

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the power to turn O2 into CO2

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to run super fast but every minute you have to pee

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The power to magically summon a knife at a gunfight. Moral: "A knife in a gunfight is pretty good when the guns run out of ammo"

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The power to die but once

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the power to know what kind of useless power would you prefer.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!