The ability not cry while cutting onions, only after hearing the news that a family member has just died

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the ability to throw a midget further than any mortal man

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The ability to change the writing on signs

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The power to propel urine at the top speed of the animal you most recently thought of.

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The power to fly but only when your feet are touching the ground.

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The power to confess crimes you haven't committed.

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The Ability to longer your arms and fingers but only if you are picking a booger....

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The power to steal all the money in the world without ever stealing anything ever.

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The power to run past the speed of sound... Backwards

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The power to look into cheese.

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the ability to "speak in tongues"...

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The power of thinking of a good useless superpower.

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The power to eat anything in a minute.

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The ability to sit on air, provided you are in space.

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The power to change from a normal human to a normal human than die.

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The power to pee any color

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The power to be a human for 1 second once a month.

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The power to read the minds of hobos. ( now you know what hobos think about you )

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The power of having the highest rated comment

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the power to quickly re-wrap christmas presents

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To stab Djones

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The power to transform you in something randomly

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The power to know which came first - The chicken or the egg.

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the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!