The power to hurt the people you love

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Hello.. I'm Captain Curteous & I'd jst like tol say F@@K THE LOT OF YOU. Oh no my powers are failing!!!!!

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The ability to make the skin above your eyebrows really, really dry and flaky---whenever you want!

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the ability to know what the F#CK gotsie is. WHAT THE FU-

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The power to wait 8 to 10 business days.

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The power to go back in time and kill Hitlerr, only after you've had sex with him though

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The power to have any pointless power you want

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The power of bullet attraction.

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The power to summon a lamp... Once.

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the power to have no powers.

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The power to be meta, but nobody thinks it's cool any more.

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The power to see through horses

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The power to cure cancer pantients of minor rashes.

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The ability to change a light bulb with the help of a friend on the first or fourth Tuesday of every 4 four months when he has enough free time to help.

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The ability to be jealous of tom watts like jack moore

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The ability to fly while in an airplane

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The ability to teleport from any toilet to any toilet and read minds of anyone in the bathroom all around the world.

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tha powah to haz pointless supah powahz

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The power to remember long sequences of numbers. But only the even ones.

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THE POWER TO INSERT *X**A**S***S***E* TO YOUR MONITOR . Captcha; Kick your Heels

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the power to see poorly during night time and considerably better during the day with the help of +5 glasses

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The power to make green lights turn red on approach.

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the power to fart terrible gas

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The power to move the remote from the coffee table, where it is sitting 2 feet out of reach, into your hands

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!