- Pointless Super Powers

the power to bleed to death from a paper cut.

The ability to know exactly where every Canadian penny within 5 feet of you is.

the ability to be a cartoon but get canceled

The power to speak in text globes.

the power to shit cellulose

the ability to uncontrollably disprove the existence of god but only in front of nuns.

The ability to be a jew during the holocaust

The power of being Chuck Norris and be the main utterly pointless source of pointless powers.

The power to make water expire.

the ability to never catch things that other people toss gently at you

the power to sit down in mid air

the power of having super fast growing body hair. It grows a half inch a day.

the ability to talk like Bill Cosby

The Power to shrink but never grow back.

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The power to project a hologram, but only of yourself projecting another hologram.

the power to say you have no power

The power to take your talent to anywhere you want

THE POWER TO PREDICT THE PAST

the power to piss at will but only when your bladder is full

the power to go into a coma

The power to make a sound that attracts whales

The ability to look really good, but your invisible.

the power to poo every time someone asks you out

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!