The ability to unbleep swear words on your tv.

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The power to read the entire Twilight series withou suffering brain damage, only once you have to read all four books in the same sitting.

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The power to move things with your mind while you sleep.

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The ability to telepathically talk to people, but its sent in Morse code in dog whistle so human's can't hear it

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the ability to increase your debts in the bank.

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the power to forget what you were do-- wait, what?

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The power to perform the Kali Ma sacrificial ritual on yourself.

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Diamond hard left nipple!

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The power to shoot lasers out your eyes but the first time you do it it burns your eyes and you go blind

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The power to sneeze in front of birthday cakes

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The power to make my mom shout at me

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The power to make your penis able to go through any nown material in the universe even a dwarf star. However it is 1000x more sensitive to pain than normal. And once you start you can't stop until it's trough.

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to be able to walk on water for 2minutes at a time

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The power to grow two extra arms that are invisible, can't touch anything, and you can't control.

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The power to assasinate people with touch from your finger, while you are asleep.

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whatever the hell the hulk does. aside from the whole angryface thing

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The power to deliver gifts around the world in one night but be fatter than hell, live in a frozen wasteland, and only little kids think you exist

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The power to take offence to anything said or done like it matters...

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the power to talk to fish but only if their belly up

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the ability to be a vampire on a stick

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The power to see five seconds into the future.

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the power to come down off a high but only if you have cancer

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The ability to grow trees out of money.

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the ability to turn off any fans on a hot day

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!