Ability to sneeze n cough and sounds like a fart

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The power to have time when you're doing nothing.

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the power to command the sperm you ejaculate

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the power to dance in the dark

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The ability to defecate red clay bricks when startled or scared

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The power to cry lava.

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The power to cure a ham

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the ability to shoot a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing

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The ability to shit from your mouth and burp through your ass

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the power to make food disappear in your mouth only when your mouth is not closed.

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The ability to turn anything into cheese, but be lactose intolerant.

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The ability to piss flames.

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The power to have courage to tell hitler that you are jew

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The power to blink slightly less often.

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The power to be invincible to every thing but fire water tornadoes bullets explosions guns knifes blades swords grenades sticks pointy objects disease infections sicknesses flu illness natural disasters accidents vehicles trucks electricity meteors bombs rockets drug addiction peer pressure starvation tiredness torture pain monkeys radiation.

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The ability to fly, but only as high as you are tall.

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the ability to smoke crack but only infront of a cop

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the power to transform into pedobear with diplomatic immunity...

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The power to eat just one Lays potato chip

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The power to summon Pedobear and only if you are under 10.

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The power to guess a multiple choice answer correctly some of the time.

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The power to think about thinking about having the power to be stupid

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The Power to make people see a picture of you naked in their heads.

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To survive listening to James Blunt

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!