the power to stare at pit bulls in the eyes and imitate them

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the power to shrink 0.1 millimeter or grow 0.1 millimeter

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The power to fall asleep each time you

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The power to get a cold in the wintertime.

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The ability to laugh one's ass off.

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The power to make grass grow 1cm longer than usual.

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The power to swear if you do not believe in a God. Moral: Meh... if I post anything against God here you guys will thumb me down and that matters... it matters so much that I will use the section over to shit talk God... yeah... thumb me down already fearing zealots... show me your true power (being Gods bitches) now that is pointless power!

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The power to transform every book, note or image on the television into illegal child porn simply by being near them.

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The ability to cross the Do Not Cross tape at crime scenes

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The power to die after life has left you old and decrepit.

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The power to be Rosie O'Donnell.

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The power to become a virgin but only if you've never had sex.

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the power to hate Raymond, and like Chris.

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the power to charge rechargeable batteries.

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the power to time travel to the present

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The power to turn vaseline into mercury whenever you think about throwing away a perfectly good taco

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The power to make muffins appear out of nowhere.

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?u?op ?p?sdn ????? o? ???od ???

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The power to become a fish for 10 hours on dry land

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the power to pre-tend your a animal ...

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The power to absorb energy wavelengths, in the visible light spectrum, from objects and create a mental picture of the shape and color of the objects they reflected off of.

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The power to phase through walls whenever there is a door nearby leading to the next room

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The power to make food slightly smaller.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!