The ability to judge a book by its cover.

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The power to run like Nicolas Cage.

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The power to teleport massive objects one inch above your head.

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The power to turn any object into food

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you can summon raccoons, but all they do is piss on your shit

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The power to wear the same clothes every day without them getting dirty.

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the power to have super strength but only wile you are sleeping,

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The power to know what someone thought, after they told you.

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The power to absolutely nothing

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The power to have extreme S and M sex with Rosie O Donnell at will, you as the submissive.

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The power to read the minds of sandwhiches.

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the power to shoot fireballs.....only when your under water

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The power to hold your breath when you die

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The power to have super hearing but only works when you are dead.

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The power to do a wheelie on. Unicycle

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The power to laugh so hard you can't breath at "Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?" Jokes.

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The Power to fart extremely loudly every time your in a crowd.

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The ability to open a door that was already open.

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the power to open doors that are unlocked

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Justin Bieber

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The power to be able to taste shit from miles away.

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The power to fly, but only in microgravity.

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The power to have some fucking muslim (white guy, no arab) tell my wife that since we have been married for three years and I Speak spanish/Russian/Japanse/Itali... Anyways that she should at least be able to speak fluently spanish so shame on her. (The fuck I be teaching her spanish in Norway?) The power? To tell my wife that if I ever see him, I will chop his head off... My wife said I think he meant it well, I said, so do I. The reason its useless? My wife refused so I had to enter their stupid meeting room and tell him myself... He asked me who I was while shivering, my answer: Want to learn how to speak motherdfucking spanish? He supposedly spent staring down the floor for hours while refusing his boss`s offer to call the cops on me and told my wife to tell me he was sorry. I goddamn bet he is fucking sorry! Nero: Now and forever.

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boo

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!