the power to sleep while standing!

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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The power to control disabled people with your mind.

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The ability to to die whenever you want. RIP

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The power to time-travel to the moment you die.

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You know what they say! The power to make all toasters... Toast Toast!

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The abilty to change what your hair smells like every two years

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The power to have razor sharp facial hair.

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The power to die from darting too hard

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The power to eat, just one, Lays potato chip.

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The power of having all of Batman`s Superpowers.

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Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to have a invisible boat mobile

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The power to speak any language, but not understand them.

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the ability to discern homophobic, racist, and mysoginistic posts on this site from the actually ok ones.. oh wait this is useful STOP BEING A JACKASS

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the power to travel through in time, but only you when you are sleeping.

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the power to be a free wireless hotspot only when you are completely motionless.

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The power to perform incredible feats of strength and speed but only while on an elevator.

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the power to disinfect wigs.

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Be dumb and gay like austin Calhoun

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The power to get cancer all the time. And strokes.

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The power to identify a senior citizen by looking at their naked butt.

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The power to blink, but only if polline gets in your eye.

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The power to wake up every morning in a corn field 36miles away from home

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!