The power to be skillful at everything but only while asleep.

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The power to shit without squinting.

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The power to teleport all gold to criminals and or teleport criminals to gold

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The power to skid against the ground at 45 mph

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the ability to invent cheese and toast

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The ability to fly a millimeter off the ground.

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The power to have all of your genes inherited from your parents

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The power to have superhuman strength. But I have to jack off to do so.

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The power to be able to write the worlds best book or movie script but if anyone reads it, it will combust into flames.

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The power to shoot liqiud gold ever 3-6 years only when you come across jesus.

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The power of learning

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The power to grab a cup of purple drank, Then drink it

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The power to convince two people I am not taking sides while simultaneously taking both sides.

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The ability to breathe and swallow at the same time.

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The ability to cut your stool in to tiny pieces smaller than a pea

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The ability to recognize any meme at will.

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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Acid tears.

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The power to control your own limb movement

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the ability to eject a little steam cloud from your penis every time you finish peeing.

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The ability to read. No wait that is actually helpful. Never mind.

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Third armpit.

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The power to turn gourmet meals into shit.

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The power to crash land ANY vehicle you steer/control. "Hah finally I got a tank! OMG ITS GAINING SPEED ON ITS OWN IN FRONT OF THAT GIANT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMP!

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!