the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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The power to control karma. Moral: Karma is a BlTCH! MY BlTCH!

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The ability to face reality after reading all the pointless powers

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The power to know exactly when you are going to die, instantly! (died instantly)

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The power to die everytime you pee

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the power to fly while under water

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Having the power of a normal human

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The power of turning your nose upside down, but only when it's raining... or in the shower.

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The power to fart through your mouth and burb through your butt

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The power to levitate 0.000000000000001mm off the ground when going up stairs.

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The power to see 147 billion years into the future.

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The power to know what weather its gonna be like in 1 minute... in South Korea

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The power to float a centimeter above the ground.

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The power to turn water into wine.

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_/?\_ (?`_´) SON GET IN THE SCOUT TANK WE'RE KILLING THE SCAMMERS

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The power to mentally control tapeworms.

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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The power to teleport to Northern Siberia with only a speedo on.

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The power to stop moral man from writing morals under every comment... Moral: The damn CIA cant go trough my battlestation, because I use this computer via proxy and can change my IP at will, so you literally would have to blow up the anti-bomb shelters in Micronesia and thus kill a key element of the pirate bay... And who would want that... buy your own music and movies? Download your own games? YOU THINK YOU HAVE THAT LUXURY? YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!

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The power to change TV channels once a day but only on cooking programs between 9:00AM and 9:30AM

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To turn instantly water proof while eating a burito

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the power to make a pillow come to life once

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The power of love

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The power of knowing every fact about dolphins

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!