The Power to stick your head up your ass. Aka be a politician.

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The power to ride a bike

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The power to walk through floors and fall through walls

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The power to have a magnetically attractive force, but only to bullets

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the power to be .13 cents short on every purchase you try to make.

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The power to vote on useless superpowers

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The power to lose your genitals when you masturbate or have sex

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the power of wanting to download paid games for free and always failing

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The ability to control water but only when it is raining

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The power to f*ck yourself

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the power to vote

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the power to fall off of a cliff and live... in hell

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to have no one hack your computer as long as you are not using a computer.

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The power to state the obvious at will.

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the power to tie your shoelaces with one hand

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The ability to go poop and pee.

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The power to have infinite energy, but only when you're asleep.

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the power to stop writing pointless super powers

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the power to make fire but only when you are in water

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The power to have any game you want for PS3 or Xbox 360, but only own a Nintendo 64.

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The power to get a boner, but only when you're hugging your dad.

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The power to make a small hamster yawn.

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the power to transform into pedobear with diplomatic immunity...

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!