the power to freeze time by 10 seconds but in the process freeze yourself too - mleo1

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The ability to orgasm every time you speak.

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to be able to lift any weight of feathers

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the power to pee and sneeze at the same time.

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The power to melt ice cubes with your bare hands.

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The power to give your wife rights

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The power to think outside the bun.

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the ability to grow and shrink... only inside buildings.

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power to make your saliva taste like a 90 yr old diabetic old man who has tapeworms' poop

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The power to remember every moment of your suckish life

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for every time you get emotionally hurt part of you body actually decompose and die.

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The power to digest food 1% faster than normal on Tuesdays and 1% slower on Thursdays

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the power to get every girl, that you're not into.

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the power to waste the space in the typing boxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx :D

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the ability to see one-half of a second into the future, but only activates while sneezing.

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The power to lose your sense of touch and orgasm uncontrollably for five minutes.

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The power to control an army of termites to eat any wooden object, as long as the object is from IKEA

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the power to seduce hats

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The power to have YMCA or "In the navy" play explosively loudly from your nostrils and be immune to it yourself. Moral: WE KNOW YOU ARE H0MOSEXUAL ALREADY! TURN THAT SHIT OFF!

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The power to fell pain 3 minutes after it happens.

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the power to shoot 2 sily stirng evry year

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the ability to write using your 'inside' voice but only once your vocal cords are compromised

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The power to have amazing sexual prowess for 24 straight hours, but only on days that you have to work overtime. This is actually true.

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The power to walk through doors, then open it.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!