The power to have any power you want, but only if you are touching a nine pound diamond, standing in a pool of gold, and stabbing yourself in your pineal gland, the smallest muscle in your body.

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the ability to be governor and have an Argentinian mistress

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The power to heal any wounds caused by the bite of an Indonesian speckled carpet shark in an area of slightly tepid saltwater any time between 3:00 and 4:00 in the afternoon

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Having the ability to drink bleach and not die. You only get really sick.

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power to eat through your but

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The power to be super strong, but you have to be totally wasted for it to work.

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The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

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The power to have every single power you can imagine but not able to use any of them

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The power to waste your time making a pointless website so that other people could waste there time.

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the power to have sex with any women you want. with your whole family watching

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The ability to glow in the dark but only when your really sleepy.

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The power to have a 17% avoidance rate to stepping on lego bricks.

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Useless super power? A shitbag (my former boss, now my employee, funny story really) at work heard I have diabetuus and started lecturing me in the meeting room in front off everybody as how sugar was bad, and that I should not drink artificial sugar and sodas and... ...Anyway he refused to shut up and had (back then) the guts to point at me and shout "SHUT UP I AM LECTURING YOU!" And continued "avoid juice and whatnot... ...Then I had enough bullshit for one day, slammed him against the wall and shouted: ITS DIABETES TYPE ONE QUEERFAG! I WAS BORN WITH IT ITS CALLED BREATHMINTS MOTHERFUKKER! Point: He called the cops and made up a lot of lies about me such as: "rhe one where I made him FEEL afraid for his life etc" which my former coleagues comfirmed where not true at all. then he called his boss in order to get me fired, his boss contacted me, we spoke, my former boss/"lecturer" got demoted, now two years later I got promoted to his former position... ...Before I left work yesterday, I grabbed my insuline pen and stuck it in my tigh and asked him/it:remember about that time you lectured me about diabetes?"... Funny story really, you should all have been there.

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The power to be white but only in the city limits of detroit or compton.

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The ability to make food disappear from a plate by putting it in your body.

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The power to turn into a two by two LEGO piece - once.

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The ability to not blink twice as long as the normal person! Lol

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The power to stop time, but only when you are waiting for something.

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The ability to erase your own memory of your ability.

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The power to see what happened in yesterdays future... Moral: meh.

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The power to use your penis and testicles as a powerful one time grenade in case you get assaulted. (probably the most pointless power ever)

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The power to look like your jacking off every time your mom walks in the room

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The power to grow fingernails just to cut them later

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The power to think you love her but you don't.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!