The power to eat multiple things at a time

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The ability to see into the past at variable times between 1 and 30 seconds but be incapable of seeing the present.

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The power to envision 1 possible death scenario for any person you look at.

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The ability to teleport from any toilet to any toilet and read minds of anyone in the bathroom all around the world.

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The power to chew ass and kick bubblegum, but be all out of ass!

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The power to kill yourself with a piece of paper.

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The power of super sonic strength and speed only when you resite Shakespeare.

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the power to talk to your elbow

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The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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The power to levitate a lamp 4 inches off the ground... Once...

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The power to reproduce asexually.

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The power to throw away and break your wine/blood glass away before yelling HAVE AT THY! At the comment below (below this one duh, you see the other brown box? Yeah that one genius) Moral: Yeah yeah, you dont get it, but its awesome because its a MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS!

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the power to suddenly become extremely tired when you realise you have a task due

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A book on how to solve a paradix

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The power to divide by zero, but not remember how when someone asks you.

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The power to hover 10 nanometers off the ground.

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The power to see every rainbow in double rainbow.

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The power to take your groceries from your car to your house in two trips or less.

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The power to be happy whenever you want, but only at funerals

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The power to shoot rainbows out of your elbows but consequently having your skin fall off

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The ability to sense a crime has been committed, but only after the criminal has already been caught and safely locked away in jail.

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the ability to manually control your breathing

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The power to get all the superpowers but only in your sleep/dreams.

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The power to predict yesterday's weather

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!