The power to destroy the whole universe by any sudden movement. (Our existence rests on you`re shoulders man, don't even breathe nor blink)

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the power to insta-kill anyone as long as their dead

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power to look pretty but only in your mom's eyes

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The power to make condoms out of pizza dough.

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The power to say something positive about Justin Beiber

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the power to at will swap your hands and feet around... you fall over every time

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The power to fail hard at the catchphra (or whatever its called) simply because you keep answering garbage when it asks "what is the jummiest!" Moral: I work out hard dammit! I want muscles of steel! And Bananasplit contains banana (duh) which just binds fat and makes me look like a bodybuilder... (yes I did look like that and would eat garbage rather than banana, I mean most "family restaurant" foo out there is garbage) "Family restaurant" guide, because moral man loves you: Mc Donalds, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Burger King, and I really need fats and proteins to work out as hard as I do... I mean I am running on a uh.. stand still training bicycle thingie... too tired to look it up.

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The power to science.

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The power to be instantly transported to Switzerland, naked, whenever you reach orgasm.

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The power to wear crocs.

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The power to destroy the earth the next time you blink.

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The power to fap without satisfaction

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The power to pee out blue

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The ability to read any language and understand it perfectly but only in pitch black darkness.

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The ability to travel back in time, but always five minutes after you can be of any use to anyone.

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The power to transform into anything you have already become

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The power to summon a lamp... Once.

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The power to fly but only in a room with a ceiling fan

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The power to make people think that having no powers is the greatest.power of all

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The power to fart rainbows

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the power to read word that are the right way up upside down, but not read words that are upside down the right way up

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The helpers... early days part 3!: Shitfixer: What color is your poo? Hmm.. you should eat more vegetables.., You need someone to fix your toilet? Try calling Batman... Batman: Yes? Are you retarded? Dense or something? Of course I repair toilets and install showers! I am the goddamn Batman! The Pope: The less people use condoms, the more children we can bang! I really hope nobody finds out our secret reason for banning condoms or stuff... AMEN! Moral Man: People are gonna try crush me for the last one, they gotta find me first though... and I kill and eat Zealots (and pussy) for breakfast... and its nearly breakfast so please come by.. only 100 at the time though, I have limits too you know... although some still think I am perfect... sigh...

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The power to teleport to the place of where you are

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The power to fall apart whenever touched. See Derrick Rose, Chicago Bulls

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!