Most of God`s powers. One: He has existed eternally, and one day he said: LET THERE BE LIGHT! Uh... so he has lived eternal eternities in the dark? Explains his shitty mood... Two: Speaking about let there be light... the very first sentence he utters is wrong, because "First God created light".... And then he went "oops" and time traveled back in time to create voice first so he could say anything? Three: He sent his son to combat sin... how powerful is sin? So powerful that a so called omnipotent being had to sacrifice his son? And what sacrifice is it to have your immortal son killed just to prove that he is immortal? Sounds like a guy being sawed in half and then coming out whole... TADAH! (applause from the audience). So in the end he sacrificed... nothing? He died to prove he could not die? Moral: Jesus: Epic troll..

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The power to get 100% on every test but get caught for cheating.

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The power to swim on land.

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The power to type on a key board. WAIT A MINUTE

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The super power of randomly confuse the feeling of being about to sneeze and being about to shit yourself

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The power to understand this: Alucard: Father! I will stand against you! Dracula: Then it is time to kill your weak human side and join me in REMAKING THIS WORLD! (battle ensues Dracula takes a hell of a beating) Dracula: AAAAAAAARGHHHHHH! Heh... sarcasm... What is a man... if he gains the world, but loses his soul... limps away... Mark 8:36 I believe... Alucard: Father! I did not wish for you to die! Dracula: Uh I lost a sole, and the world is mine, already... Alucard: Well then lets keep fighting. Moral: Richter: YOU STEAL MENS SOLES! Dracula: The same could be said about every shoe shopper... Me: You are not gonna get this one, but if Dracula STEAL MENS SOULS! Then why would he have a soul to begin with? Its confusing... and the power to understand this is meaningless... BUT ENOUGH TALK YOU MISERABLE LITTLE PILE OF SECRETS! HAVE AT THY!

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The power to make your girlfriend orgasm only when you are having sex with another man.

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the power to breathe under water but only when yourout of water

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To power to predict past events with deadly accuracy.

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The power to find something that isn't in the last place you look.

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The power to do unto others as you do unto yourself

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Eht rewop ot epyt sdrawkcab dna kaeps ti yltneulf ekilnu eht yug ohw tog no eht tsrif egap.

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The power to remember memories that you have forgotten, but only for 82 milliseconds, and then you forget them again.

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the power to convert oxygen and glucose to water and carbon dioxide every time you breathe.

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The power to turn Wii controllers into broken TV sets.

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The power live 0.0000001 seconds longer.

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the power to fall at 9.9m per second.

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The power to turn on the lights using a light switch.

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The power to run at blazing speed but loose intelligence as you excelerate.

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the power to make a pillow filled with feathers into a pillow filled with fluff

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The power to know what you're going to have for dinner on any given day 10 years from now.

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To never remember what the word if means

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The power to fart flames

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The ability to kill anyone, only if he/she is your close friend.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!