The power to speak one language fluently.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

The power to read the Terms of Service but be unable to check the box saying that you have done so.

thumb_up thumb_down +801

the power to trip on shoe laces, even when they are not even your own.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

the power to think 0.0000000000000001 microseconds faster than usual

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The power to teleport the remote control to you from across the room twithout getting up, but only if your TV is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

the power to convert oxygen and glucose to water and carbon dioxide every time you breathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

the power to tolerate alex simpson

thumb_up thumb_down -28

The power to change your eye colour but you are the only one who can see the difference.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

The power to be a MISSERABLE PILE OF SECRETS! BUT ENOUGH TALK (glass breaks) HAVE AT YOU! Moral: More are gonna get this one than those below, this one is merely a quote rather than cerebral. But you can always pretend to understand it by thumbing it up, or down if you just fail at understanding, either way is fine.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

The power to heat any object with your mind, but only to current room temperature and only as fast as it would have taken if you had done nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +194

The ability to walk slower than everyone else

thumb_up thumb_down -25

The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

power to be heard only when there are ideas worth listening to

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The ability to ingest Dihydrogen-monoxide and survive.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

power to make you the last man on earth, but all the ladies are lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down -71

The power to look through glass.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

The power to pass incredibly powerful gas at the most inconvenient of times

thumb_up thumb_down -20

The power to touch anything that is touchable.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

the power to read 9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999 books every second

thumb_up thumb_down -41

The power to spell 'a' correctly

thumb_up thumb_down -32

The power to regenerate limbs, but twenty years after you've lost it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

The power to grow your toenails at twice the normal rate.

thumb_up thumb_down +457

The power to become white by going into midtown harlem at night and shouting: I HATE NEGROES!!! At the top of your lungs.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The power to summon your mom so you can prove she's not as fat as the chav in front of you is saying she is

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!