the ability to hack, but every computer you touch crashes.

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the power to read impossibly fast, but only when you're watching a movie with no subtitles

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the ability to drive on the hood of the car

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The ability to break every bone in your body every second, then have super speed. You wouldn't be able to run.

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The power to make a woman make you a sandwich

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The power to shoot poop balls when you masterbate.

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The ability to evolve into magickarp

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The ability to identify commonly known objects.

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the power to disappear up your own asshole

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the power to superglue ur balls to ur thigh

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The power to eat anything, but always vomit 15 minutes later.

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The power to Google "Google".

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The Power to Combust

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The ability to fire a gun with precision accuracy. But only if your the target

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the power to make youtube videos buffer twice as fast on your iPhone.

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The power to read as fast as light when you can't read

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The power to turn into a slightly smaller, weaker version of yourself.

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The ability to reduce the value of a penny.

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The ability to sense a crime has been committed, but only after the criminal has already been caught and safely locked away in jail.

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The power to die everytime you pee

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The power to look through glass.

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the ability to never catch things that other people toss gently at you

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the ability to slap someone with your foot

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The power to travel through time to get through school but then fail at life.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!