the power to know what kind of useless power would you prefer.

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The ability to put your whole foot in your mouth.

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The power that will grant you no power.

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The ability to leap off buildings with a single bound.

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The power to control unsalted butter very slightly with huge amounts Of effort

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The ability to turn into an apple--but not be able to turn back.

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the power to breath without thinking about it.

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the power of being cut off mid senta

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The power to vomit every time you look at a cat.

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That F-ucking ass hole that keeps typing morals all the time, he is F`n annoying! Moral: You thought I was a hater eh? Hahaha got you there ;) And if that is not the most pointless pointlessity in the world, then... I give shit about thumbs ups really, they just discovered that I have an bad allergy to dust, and thus I have been unable to work out for TWO YEARS! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT! Me so happy, me love you long time. That is what women usually say to me, instead that they change the happy with horny... and replace you with someone else`s name. Self Irony... such a delight... and maybe I am lying... who knows... who wants to know? Nobody? :( sob... excellent! :D Damn CATCHPHRA! I SWEAR I USED TO HAVE A KITTEN THAT WAS TWICE THE SIZE OF TEXAS!

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The power to jump .000000000000000000000000001% higher.

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The power to go super saiyan for 0.01 seconds

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The ability to smell with your hands

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The awesome power to find Waldo.

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the ability to teleport far away from here but still be stuck

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The ability to shoot acorns from your nipples

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The ability to get up from the couch.

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The ability to fly while on a plane. You can only do this at the same altitude and speed of the plane.

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The power to catch all 493 pokemon.

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The power to vomit a thoroughly blended mix of pickles, cheese, onions, caramel, lead paint, octopi, boiling water, vinyl, super glue, hot sulfur froth, and hand sanitizer.

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X-ray vision that only works on windows

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Acid tears.

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the power to fly indoors

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The power to unravel the toilet-paper towards you.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!