the power to have diarrhea at any time

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The power to become paralyzed whenever you're aroused.

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The power to be a dog, with Herpes, that smells like farts.

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Nope. Just nope.

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The power to turn computers into pencil sharpeners.

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The ability to teleport at a random point of the space.

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The power to jizz mango chutney

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The power to read books really quickly but forget what you just read.

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the ability to burn in hell

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The power to eat anything edible 0.25x quicker!!!!

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The power to fly but only when your feet are touching the ground.

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the ability to stay in the same place while running

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The ability to sense if someone's in danger 20 miles away, however, you lack any other power, so you have to take a cab or just feel bad about it.

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The power to tell when someone is using a cheese grater within 5 feet

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The ability to turn a computer off at will, except it must in the middle of saving your term paper.

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The ability to breath outside the water

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the power to frow up when your not sick.

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to walk 5 miles at 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 miles per hour

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The ability to be able to transform into a spork.

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The ability to pirate every song you want without getting caught. However, they can only be Justin Bieber songs

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The ability to feel pain 1,000 times more acutely than an average human.

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The power to talk to animals and have them partially understand you.

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The power to recite all of Encyclopedia Brown's cases in alphabetical order.

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The power to uncontrollably say a pun every sentence during funerals

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!