The ability to teleport into a wall

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The power to predict when a door will unlock.

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the power to get an erection in gym class while doing jumping jacks

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The power to eat food, but as you eat the food you turn into a giant green monster and have to terrorize Japan for the rest of your life. As a result of you terrorizing Japan, McDonald's comes out with monster toys and Universal does a children's movie about how monsters can be cute cuddly creatures in order to calm down those who are having nightmares at night because of your horrific actions in Japan. While in Japan though a mad scientist creates a unmosterification ray gun that heals you. Then you decide you have to go on an all liquid diet so over the course of many years you become impervious to drowning, in that time you also develop the ability to speak with sea animals with a sonar type ability. Thus rendering you as Aquaman the most useless superhero ever.

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The power to grow your pinkie toe to ten times its actual length, but only while your shoes are on.

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the power to talk to animals but only when it means stealing your ice cream

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The power to ma-FUCK HER RIGHT IN THE PUSSY!!!!!

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The power to even

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The power to kick ass when your names aoife.

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The power to fly as long as your feet the ground

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The power to gain 400 pounds in 400 seconds.

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The power to look at this thing - Browny the dow

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The power to talk to slugs but not have them understand what your saying.

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The power to get foot-boners

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The power to trick yourself into thinking you have the power to trick yourself into thinking you have the power to trick yourself into thinking you have the power to…

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When walking down the street, i try to get to a crack in the pavement a few feet ahead of me, and step on it before the next car passes me on the road

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Harnessing Homoeopathic wisdom.

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the power to live until you die

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The power to waste money

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The power to have psi superpowers... but YOU NEED TO CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS!

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The power to have omniscience but can't speak and have Alzheimer's.

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Immunity to everything but AIDS, bears, being choked with cloth, Donald trump, Energy Blasts, fire, guns, etc.

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The power to make doughnuts rapidly advance in age

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The power to turn your head 360 degrees

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!