the power to die at will

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The power of shrinking your own anus to subatomic size.

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The power to cure cancer, but only on corpses

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The power to speak with dead relatives, but only whilst masturbating.

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the power to youtube poop

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The power to vomit whenever you want to.

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the power to emit free wifi which the signal strength varies by your erection.

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PATTIES THAT ARE SUPPOSEDLY READY TO EAT, BUT COVERED IN STICKY HARDENED FAT! Moral: Damn greasy hand surprise! I was going all victoly on guilty gear XXX

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The power to read all the other pointless superpowers

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the power to say funny joke, but only deaf people can hear it.

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The power to blink one second faster then usual.

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The power to stick your head up your ass

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the power to turn into a random piece of fruit.

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the power to transform into pedobear with diplomatic immunity...

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The power to uncontrollably fart when your with your girlfriend

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the power to see farther, but only in pitch blackness

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the ability to walk through your clothes

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The ability to breath pre-chewed cereal.

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The power to stop time for 1 second

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The power to cure a ham

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The power to misspell when tyring to spell qukcily

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The ability to have no abilities.

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The ability to turn your ribcage invisible at will

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The power to be able to able to be really smart at things no one cares about.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!