The power to live again but only while your still alive.

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The power to turn anything you touch into cats

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The power to get an erection watching gay porn

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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Ingesting caffeine gives you the power to be a normal, competent human being.

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The power to see John Cena.

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The power to transform into any scented candle. Your sidekick has the power to light you with his mind, but you don't let him because it hurts to be on fire.

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The power to summon anything you hate. Moral: Relax I hate morals too, if you ever find a moral here, then its not the original guy.

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the power to remotely jizz in someone's sock.

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The power to not have a power.

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The ability to turn into an embryo

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The power to be 6% fireproof

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The ability to teleport instantly to your current location.

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the ability for things to literally go in one ear and out the other

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The ability to digest three types of earth elementals

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The power to eat soup with a fork

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The ability to know if there's an afterlife, but only after you've died

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The power to talk really loud or quiet and you can control it.

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The power to be hating when you see me rollin. Moral: ;D

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The power to control any type of urine or feces

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the ability to own a computer without a power cord

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The power to jump -50% higher

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the ability to give a potato an orgasm

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!