The power to be immortal but only in times where it does not mater, stops working after the age of 50.

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The power to turn time back... To the point where you turned it back.

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The power to forget how to swim.

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The power to revive Hitler.

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The ability to scratch your balls telepathically.

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The power to poop almost instantly, but you always have the runs.

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The ability to levitate, but only when you're defecating.

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the power to become Homer Simpson's mom (R.I.P. her)

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The power to die when you change emotions

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The power to have your finger and toenail grow twice as fast as normal.

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the power to make your best friend's crush fall in love with you, but not your own crush.

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The power to be distracted with grea

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The power to go in jail every time you are alone.

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You have the power to stop bullets from hitting you for a minute but after the minute is up the bullet will still hit you

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The power to live again but only while your still alive.

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The power to turn anything you touch into cats

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The power to get an erection watching gay porn

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The ability to perpetually masturbate.

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The power to grow your fingernails at 1.5% times the average speed, provided you contribute three hours a day to meditation.

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Ingesting caffeine gives you the power to be a normal, competent human being.

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The power to see John Cena.

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The power to transform into any scented candle. Your sidekick has the power to light you with his mind, but you don't let him because it hurts to be on fire.

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The power to summon anything you hate. Moral: Relax I hate morals too, if you ever find a moral here, then its not the original guy.

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the power to remotely jizz in someone's sock.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!