The ability to have telekinesis on February the 30th

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The power to burp where you fart, and fart where you burp.

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The power to text while driving and dies of cancer.

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The power to grow grey hairs whenever you wanted.

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The power to be able to be a guy who can create and control fire but if it touches you, you still burn

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The power to have anything you want that is free.

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The power to transform into anyone, but only in caricature form.

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The power to be a Fox News anchor with something actually coherent to say.

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The power to sweat soup.

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The power to remember the funniest thing in the world and have a full on laughing fit, as long as you are at a funeral.

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The "helpers" you call during emergencies when they where new and a itsy bit unorganized... misunderstandings easily showed up part 1: The Firemen: Why the hell did you call us if this place is already on fire? Call the damn Watermen THEN! The Watermen: Sorry we only receive calls and help people that are drowning, try the Firemen or something... The Cops: Crime in the city? Sorry our work is to COP OUT of stuff, Try the Police or something...

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The power to read your own mind.

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the power to slitely change how you look by smiling

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Doing a handstand with your feet

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The power to communicate with sperm.

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The power is to think MEMEZ are so nonsence, Even if you ever kissed an girl.

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The power to have your mother suck your dick dry as long as there is any sperm in your balls.

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the ability to wake up on an elephant

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the power to breath fire but only on days that don't end in Y.

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The power to overcome any addiction by constantly doing whatever you are addicted to.

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The power to throw away and break your wine/blood glass away before yelling HAVE AT THY! At the comment below (below this one duh, you see the other brown box? Yeah that one genius) Moral: Yeah yeah, you dont get it, but its awesome because its a MISERABLE PILE OF SECRETS!

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The power to to excrete fluids from your body after digesting food or obtaining liquids

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The power to become invisible when no one is looking.

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The power to shrink your hand only when its inside a pringles container.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!