The power to permanently shorten your own penis

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The power to jump 1 cm more than the average human when you're scared.

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Faster than a loaded bullet!

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The power to throw a rock at the ground and miss

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The power to see through solid objects, but only when said solid object is transparent.

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being able to turn lead into dolphins.

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The ability to mimic your actions in a mirror perfectly

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The power to instantly pee when you see a person.

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The power of funk, but only on Tuesdays between 2 and 3 AM.

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the power to undress yourself automatically when in the presence of a pedophile or rapist.

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The power to view the world through Apples Retina Display.

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the power to be famous but no one in the world knows you are

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The power to be a woman

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The power to sing with your buttcheeks

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The power to do anything as if you were god but only after you slay a mythical dragon and eat an Unicorn's poop.

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the power to tolerate alex simpson

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The ability to rape the willing.

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the power to make glass clear

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The power to read and immediately understand any vanity license plate from Arizona.

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The power to fly at Mach 3 but only if your in the air, but too bad cuz the power comes at a cost which is making you weigh 21 more tons than you used to weigh.

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The power to repeat everything you say twice. The power to repeat everything you say twice.

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The power to feel the emotions of the dead ones

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The power of learning

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The power to shoot money out of your hands, but only when your body is on fire.

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Pointless Super Powers

A pointless super power is a supernatural ability that has no practical value. The humor is in the fact that you would be better of without that special ability. Enjoy this funny collection of pointless superpowers and write you own!